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10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?

Where do I start?

The descent into authoritarian facism in the US is scary

Ticking off project 2025 https://www.project2025.observer/en also terrifying

The loss and rollback of so much progress

The state of the job market

The state of what they are doing to healthcare

How many people are dead, dying or will die as a result

How many years it will take to recover from this, how perhaps some things like climate change we may get past the point we can recover

Finding out how many people just do not care

Finding out how very ignorant so many people are

But there is no choice but to keep trying to live, and help who you can

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?

My sister died, she picked a good time. It was not an ideal time to be disabled in the US.

I can’t think of anything more significant than that

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you're especially proud of from this past year?

No, other than the traditional wish i kept my performance reviews, wish i had kept seeking jobs, wish i had better tracked my successes, the things one ought to do while employed but so hard to do when you feel so busy.

I don’t think i did anything worthy of being proud of.

10Q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

Laid off for the first time ever. Stressed. Afraid. Because my husband has been out of work for over a year we’ve gone through our emergency fund, and because he’s mentally unstable, unwilling to find alternate work, newly diagnosed ADHD and autistic things are not great.

January started off with husband being suicidal, my birthday, on which my sister died, the same day as his grandmothers 100th birthday

Having to leave and miss the final shmoocon because husband couldn't hold his shit together for 3 days

February - Gallifrey One, to find out they are winding down. All good things come to an end.

March - Gave a talk at BSides Reykjavik (Iceland) with my mom and husband, and got to see Kat - very much enjoyed iceland

Went to D&D in a castle, a great time, and visited Peter

April - Visited Japan for star wars celebration and end of cherry blossom season, we missed most of the cherry blossoms and i would have done much more tea stuff if not having my husband with me

BSides SF & RSA

June

Gartner conference

August - Hacker Summer Camp

Ran the last stand alone TDI event for at least a year, skytalks, and TDI @ DEF CON - busy but good

Also had a gathering at the halloween suite at the westgate hotel

Finished with the traditional cabana day

Sadly one of our friends got RIF’d at the event

Came home and then went on a disney cruise with mom and brandon and heath and husband which was less than magical

September

Laid off

Prepped for an ran BSides Edmonton which went well

But now i’m not being as effective or useful as I need to be.

Overall schedule went to hell

Didn’t do applications every day, didn’t do anti-fungal every day, didn’t study for citizenship at all, didn't learn ai at all, didn’t pokemon every day, didn’t finch everyday, didn’t 10Q when it started, didn’t reach out to friends every day, slept a LOT after BSides Edmonton

unemployed day 12

September 17 Wednesday

Women in Product Conference - 10th year all day

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iy0s3217r9M9F50KLI-5jhp2TNkZ2CmbYpni7bYvKrQ/edit?tab=t.0#heading=h.fbudiocf8dd5

Missed some for BSides Edmonton organizer meeting

Did food email to all of BSides Edmonton

Did some applications

Did TDI emergency emails

Did pokemon

Reached out to friends

Checked in on ann fran tickets, canceled hello fresh, added note about open bar for BSides Edmonton

unemployed day 13

September 18 Thursday

Did skytalks and tdi emergency emails, checked i with friends and family, got harvinder friend ticket

Got rabbit food

Played pokemon

Brad made pesto chicken and potatoes

Talked to eric about the B&E door challenge for BSides Edmonton

Cleaned the water fountain

Did bsides edmonton emails

unemployed day 14

September 19 Friday

Did a few interviews with goto

Canceled fabulous

Did pokemon

Contacted friends and family

Followed up on ROE document for unemployment

Did bsides edmonton; emails, printed schedule signs, info booth apackets, speaker bag letters, hotwash menu submitted to restaurant, printed faq for sponsor and partner, printed menus for info booth, printed logins for sponsors, printed labels for bags (speakers and volts)

unemployed day 15

September 20 Saturday

Showered

People came over to help prep bags, one poor organizer had terrible cat allergies need to note that next year

Printed all the labels for the badges

Render picked up cari at airport

Printed volunteer letter

We went pretty late, later than planned

Then cari wanted to check out canadian grocery stores

Prepped everything into the garage

Checked bsides email, emergency for skytalks and TDI

Did a little pokemon

Gave hacker tracker updated schedule

Seem to have gotten a UTI

unemployed day 16

September 21 Sunday

Emergency checked skytalks and TDI emails, talked to mom, took azo

Checked in on waitlist

Checked in on friends (ru’s birthday), loaded car

Canceled disney+ for the kowtowing to trump

Headed to NAIT

Did setup

Advertised hackertracker

Checked in on waitlist

Got all you can eat sushi for dinner

Printed canva lollipop signs

Updated wicys slides

Sent parking emails

unemployed day 17

September 22 Monday

Woke up 3:30am

Left 5:30am

Arrived 6:30am and started setup

The day was a whirlwind but went much smoother than last year

Exhausted for the 5:30 speaker dinner

Home, contact friends and family, take out trash and compost and recycling, empty cat boxes and rabbit boxes, check all emails for emergencies and go to sleep

unemployed day 18

September 23 Tuesday

Woke up 4:30am

Arrived nait 7:30am

Another whirlwind day, including chaos with raffles and name drawing with a partner who would not be able to attend in person

Gave closing ceremonies

Got home

Went out for pho at mini mango

???

sleep

unemployed day 19

September 24 Wednesday

Slept in a bit

Took cari to the airport

Got sewing needles, stoped by the reuse center, got drinkwell filters

Fixed the jacket airtag for the cats and let them out

Had fish and potatoes for dinner

Then did nothing? IDK wasted the evening

unemployed day 20

September 25 Thursday

Slept in until noon

Brad got bun veg

1:1 conversation with one of TDI board members

Bsides newsletter

Quickbooks bsides and tdi

Bought health insurance (cobra equivalent)

Checked all emails for emergencies

Applied for unemployment

unemployed day 21

September 26 Friday

Slept all day, like until 4pm

Checked ann frank tickets, still months off

Reached out to friends

Canceled hello fresh

Logged in all twitter

Checked all emails for emergencies

Recommended confreaks

Sent email to checked in attendees

Updated demographics

Sent recap to bsides mailing list

unemployed day 11
September 16 Tuesday

Up early (7am) for the job hunting like a hacker class

Which now means I need time to set aside to do all the things *ssigh* good long term but gotta do that, but so much going on

class 8-2 something

then some pokemon, tdi urgent emails

shopping at costco for groceries

made pasta with meatsauce and garlic bread for dinner, ulla has shingles in her mouth and can not eat

then bsides nail, nait signs, lead scanner email

job applications, old style, i should have done new style but exhausted from not sleeping all night to finish that book

quickbooks for bsides edmonton and TDI

11pm, trying to go to bed?

unemployed day 10
September 15 Monday

currently using the following apps
-betwixt (got a free pass, depending how it goes would like to donate to them later)
-Fabulous (free trial, need to cancel, not resonating, again, tried it before)
-Finch (trying, again, free trial)
-Shmoody - not using tried before canceled

yay adhd panic i guess

Some tossing and turning but not terrible sleep

Woke up

Fedex called - having issues delivering laptop to ex coworker
passed that on

Open SSF SLSA Specification meeting

did get severance payment after tax not much

so stressed, cushion eliminated from husband being out of work over a year and being unwilling to settle for a job which is "beneath him" which is a whole additional issue to deal with later.

checked emails

did some bsides prep (parking email, digital signs)

reached out to amanda (put on my list to try and reach out more)

skytalks 2026 prep

skytalks meeting

pokemon, it's getting cold fast

did some job applications

didn't end up sleeping stayed up all night reading "chasing sunlight" not a great have picked it up and put it down multiple times, but couldnt sleep

unemployed day 9
September 14 Sunday

Woke up about noon
Called mom and chatted
made a jose andres omlette https://www.tiktok.com/@allrecipes/video/7514831847021350174?lang=en

let cats outside to play

finally we got a D&D session in after a long break! YAY

Our chaos https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/1Ldrivwtbz_HkhXJ9YMGJJ4uK7g0Q-_Tc
Started March 30, 2019 - still going
I really would love but never will to go through and figure out how many in game days have passed

checked for urgent TDI and skytalks emails

fed pets

burgers at in laws for dinner

meal planning for the week

Prepped things for NCL for TDI

Applied to some roles

fed cats

Did BSides Edmonton emails, updated the website to update some speakers and talks and other misc.

now midnight

unemployed day 8
September 13 Saturday

Rubbish day

slept in until 2? 3?
made frozen pizza for dinner
did pokemon
watched wednesday most of season 2 - not the loving supportive adams family and i don't like it
still have not had a conversation with husband abotu his thinking less of those who work hourly jobs that will need to occur
got to bed late, some trouble getting to bed but less than usual b/c i just stayed up late i guess

unemployed day 7
September 12

got to bed late, not as late as usual
but tossed and turned and didn't get good sleep

up at 8am breakfast
9am interview, went well
then did some bsides stuff
returned laptop (dropped at fedex)
got rabbit food

napped/slept

got up for dinner
fought with husband
had dinner
fought with husband
he packed and left
his parents wouldnt let him stay apparently
did some laundry
talked to zeus
applied for more roles
covered some urgent diana and edmonton emails

noticed 2 IRS payments got taken instead of one, not great, asked CPA if now can skip next Q payment?

now to try and sleep

unemployed day 6
September 11 Thursday

Days of the week are still blurred

Woke up late again, not as bad

did errands and pokemon - lego store, fedex, bulk barn, pickup kijii, grocery store, pickup at riley's print shop

got home let cats out

did bsides edmonton email and checked skytalks email (none)

checked in on parking refund in 2024, prepped some meal information

dinner at in laws - porkchops leftover from the night before, potatoes and beets left over, and cake

got home did urgent TDI emails

did job applications

finishing one job application next step, then hopefully folding clothes and going to bed

failed to contact friends or family or study for citizenship

i also do need to find time to just catch up on sleep

unemployed day 5
September 10 Wednesday

Disappointed in myself slept in until 3pm

box arrived to mail back 1 of 2 laptops to activestate

called mom - she does not want to book yet at banff as may need hernia surgery, also plans to do commercial not private (so no headstones this year i guess) it sounds like she may also alter the dates she visits

i updated bsides edmonton surveys, prepped for the meeting, had the meeting

had dinner at in-laws

did pokemon route to check that off tasks

came back did some more bsides edmonton stuff

did tdi email urgent items

did personal emails

next up 1-2 applications then sleep

disappointed i need to be more efficient and make time to study for citizenship exam

unemployed day 4
Tuesday September 9

how quickly days become a blur and hard to track

woke up late but less late

Tried out a new OpenSSF working group - BEAR

checked zeffy has all contacts for newsletter pending our bloomerang cancelation/shutdown

did bsides emails and make a google calendar of the talks, it lacks the talk descriptions TBD if i have time to come back and futz with that but at least it's an alternate way to see the schedule

ate late breakfast, distracted by work

talked with BlackHack Society for an hour or two, hopefully i was useful to them

Tried out a new OpenSSF working group - dependency track

Did pokemon

had diinner, brad made tilapia and sweet potatoes/yams

BSides Edmonton board meeting, settled 2026 dates and details

A few more Applications

failed to be able to get my paystubs

did quickbooks for bsides edmonton and mostly for TDI, letting that fall behind because exhausted

the plan to catch up on sleep is a failure

also housework doing is failure

also taking time to upskill/learn failure

keep trying i guess

also thave goal blocks for catch up with friends and family

https://hbr.org/2023/01/managing-your-emotions-after-being-laid-off

https://psychcentral.com/health/coping-skills-for-grief#coping-skills-vs-self-care

https://www.mygrief.ca/

https://girlboss.com/blogs/read/how-to-cope-with-being-laid-off?srsltid=AfmBOopaSUr2nJJY6wLB-S1eBB9nj81snfW2hGNmFjkekuAbn5MY-ofc

https://www.hov.org/media/1091/ns_5547_managing_intense_emotions.pdf

unemployed day 3

Monday september 8

went to bed late (2-3 am?)
Had trouble getting to sleep once in bed

Woke up later than planned as a result

had breakfast (english muffin, butter, apple butter) and medication and tea

checked initial emails for all accounts

did prep on bsides edmonton newsletter for september

prepped zeffy newsletter to replace bloomerang for tdi

met on behalf of TDI with a charity stream event, could be fun

let cats outside

ate leftover chicken thigh for lunch

knight is an asshole who escaped again

Pokemon for 2 hours instead of planned 1

dinner - chili

TDI hotwash

2026 tdi planning

Resumes etc

trying out
https://www.tryrevisio.com/

resumeworded.com

tealhq.com

chatgpt

i don't want to use ai but unsure how else to optimize and keep up

bed 1-2 am again

unemployed day 2
sunday september 7

called mom

D&D canceled

prepped for bsides edmonton board meeting
prepped for TDI hotwash
did some laundry
finalzed meals for the week

MIL messed up meal plan already day 1, sigh

working on resume, last time i apparently updated it was like 2018?
I know i went job searching 2021/2022 so WTF?

signed up for free credit monitoring thanks to RBC WestJet card breach

made chilli b/c brad hadn't gotten to it yet

got back into most of the openssf working groups i had ben a member of with my work email

applied for some jobs

brad did the water fountain

unemployed day 1

saturday september 6

confirmed cancelation of bloomerang for TDI
showered and washed hair
brad picked up bsides edmonton stickers for bag stuffing
has sushi for dale (FIL) dinner along with grace
prepped pills for week
signed RIF severance package
reviewed employment contract and confirmed 12 month non compete in place
worked on resume
did some laundry
canceled all patreons but 2, will cancel those if this goes on for long

Friday September 5th

11:30 am

I was RIF'd (they also got my boss, the office manager and apparently had already onboarded our replacements)

at first when HR joined the meeting I was like hmm, then the CEO joined and I knew, they still had to say their stuff obviously.

Hindsight is 2/20 I should have seen the signs, but also not surprising b/c new C-level so that tends to happen (bring in your old team do things your way)

What ifs are of course wreking havoc - what if i can been more clear about i am a team player and willing to learn anything and do anything, and i am telling you certain things didn't work before b/c they should be done differently and people told how different

but i keep reminding myself there is nothing to be gained by what if

i keep reminding myself it's business, they were fine before me, they will be fine after me

is there literature of the grieving process on RIF and how to accelerate processing it? Or, literature on how best to speed through to accepting and moving mast what if and dwelling on things you will never get closure or be able to change or get answers to?

I took the rest of the day to let the kids play outside, play pokemon, update linkedin, and work on bsides edmonton stuff

the dishwasher was not cleaning, also brad went out to get a replacement filter only to find out the filter wasn't the issue the lack of rinse aid was, dishwashers require rinse aid? bleh

I canceled security metrics scam pci nonsense for TDI, sadly no refund

What are your prediction for the coming year?

last year: https://amazonv.dreamwidth.org/2023/09/27/

Repeating again

More division
More climate change (extreme weather phenomenon)
More terrible governments
I expect things to get ever worse

I do hope democrats and progressives take more countries and the conservatives lose ground.

10q

https://www.doyou10q.com/

10. When September 2025 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you'll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you're at as a result of thinking about and answering these question?

Same as before, surprised another year has flown past, depressed at how terrible humans are, hopefully some fun reminders of things that may have faded from mind.

I don't often take the time to look back, so this at least encourages reflection annually which is nice.

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