Nicky's Journal

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 06:21:55 GMT

2025

my sister dies on my birthday, the day we also celebrate mackey's 100th birthday

husband depressed and suicidal

have to miss out on the final shmoocon because of it

he tries some treatments but not all the ones i want him to

he makes us spend time and money on couples therapy

the kitchen finally finished after 13 months

iceland

D&D in a castle in england

japan, star wars celebration

lady h lives on

may the stars light your way

bsidessf
rsa

new passport

maryland for gartner conference in june

seattle

the final in person stand alone TDI

things stolen from our stoage locker again

Skytalks

DEFCON

Disney and cruise with the family, sami was supposed to be there
VERY disappointing DCL service

laid off, not really surprised but i had not prepared like i should and the signs were obvious

BSides Edmonton

A lackluster halloween

a new job, but waiting and waiting on the written offer

home for us thanksgiving

a different new job, starting in the new year

tea blogged for the first time in a long time

a lackluster holiday and new year

lost two of husbands's aunts to cancer
other friends also lost

enjoying being just the pets and me and rewatching xena

i should have been so much more productive with the time i had...

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unemployed day 109, Tuesday December 23

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 05:10:52 GMT

unemployed day 109, Tuesday December 23

- Checked pets food at 7am, took some pills
- Back to sleep until 10am, i was sort of awake maybe i should have stayed up, but cuddled husband briefly in there
- no daylight lamp because husband in room
- got up, took medicine, breakfast, tea, tea blog, pokemon go and finch
- brushed teeth, brushed mouthguard, lotion on feet, washed face, toner on face, lotion on face
- checked emails for urgent emails, did quickbooks for both BSides and TDI
- did some laundry and kitchen cleaning (empty dishwasher, reload dishwasher, clean counters, etc)
- fed pets 2pm
- pickup hoodies from tailor
- had late lunch, tuna salad leftovers from dinner
- did more laundry
- travel for work not approved, and likely won't be tomorrow so need to re-do it on 25th, and failing that on the 29th
- dinner, at MIL
- did more laundry
- made some progress on personal and TDI email, failed to make BSides progress
- Updated Tea Blog

up next:
- feed pets 10pm
- medicine
- brush teeth, put in mouthguard
- wash face
- toner (skin & co truffle) https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner
- vit c serum way of will (discontinued company)
- lotion body
- frankinscense oil wrists

Tomorrow is lost because MIL does christmas eve, i don't care for it but thats what i married into

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unemployed day 108, Monday December 22

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 05:49:49 GMT

unemployed day 108, Monday December 22

- Fed pets 7am
- Took some medicine
- Back to sleep until noon :(
- skilled Open SSF SLSA specification meeting
- did 20 minutes sunlight lamp while pokemon go and finch
- got up and fed pets 2pm
- husband went to H&W to get bun veg and the gas station to get holiday gift card
- had breakfast and tea
- took more medicine
- washed face and brushed teeth and mouthguard
- toner https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner (skin & co truffle)
- retinol face moisturizer from naturally vain advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/face-moisturizers/products/rejuvenee-luxe-anti-aging-retinol-face-cream
- moisturized my feet, this worked really well also from the advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/foot-care/products/sole-repair-intensive-foot-cream-to-nourish-soothe-soften-dry-feet naturally vain
- went to try and book travel again for new job to lisbon company meeting
- me and husband took out all trash, recycling, compost for trash day
- checked all emails for urgent emails
- cleaned up kitchen a little
- made fresh bread in bread maker
- did a few loads of laundry
- dinner, leftover chili, tuna salad
- booked flight for gallifrey
- booked transport for april trip to and from airport
- read my revised professional resume and made some comments
- Updated Tea Blog

up next:
- medicine
- brush teeth, put in mouthguard
- wash face
- toner (skin & co truffle) https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner
- vit c serum way of will (discontinued company)
- lotion body
- frankinscense oil wrists

Hair oil leaves my hair too...stringy? sticky? not a fan, maybe just nights before when i wash my hair?

really need to kick my ass tomorrow to do TDI and BSides stuff

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unemployed day 107, Sunday December 21

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 00:28:00 GMT

unemployed day 107, Sunday December 21

Crap sleep, up until past 2am doomscrolling
woke up finally at noon
Called mom, she was busy and would call me back
day lamp while doom scrolling
had breakfast and tea
Cleaned water fountain for pets
washed face and brushed teeth and mouthguard
- using toner got in a mystery box last year? we'll see if it lasts more than a month again https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner (skin & co truffle)
- moisturized my feet, this worked really well also from the advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/foot-care/products/sole-repair-intensive-foot-cream-to-nourish-soothe-soften-dry-feet naturally vain
- Hair serum, naturally vain, with argan https://naturallyvain.com/collections/hair-oil/products/silk-shine-hair-oil-powered-by-aloe-vera-argan-oil-for-shine-and-hydration
finch & pokemon go
fed pets 2-3pm
made chia puddings with oatmeal (chia, oatmeal, milk, walnuts, date syrup) for breakfast/snacks
checked all emails for urgent emails
goofed around and watched youtube videos, should not have
Updated Tea Blog

Next up:

Dinner at MIL
BSides Edmonton Notes Board Meeting
Hopefully TDI Invoice Adobe, emails
Resume Review
Booking spa things
make bread
New night routine, we will see how long this sticks
- medicine
- brush teeth, put in mouthguard
- wash face
- toner (skin & co truffle) https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner
- vit c serum way of will (discontinued company)
- Hair serum, naturally vain, with argan https://naturallyvain.com/collections/hair-oil/products/silk-shine-hair-oil-powered-by-aloe-vera-argan-oil-for-shine-and-hydration
- lotion body
- frankinscense oil wrists

update:

nope went to bed after dinner, sigh
woke up fed cats (10pm)
did night time stuff (meds etc)
back to sleep
tossed and turned for a little
doomscrolled
sleeep

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unemployed day 106, Saturday December 20

Sat, 20 Dec 2025 21:59:16 GMT

unemployed day 106, Saturday December 20

I think I was out of bed by 9:30, later than the before 9 goal i had set
did 20 minutes sunlight lamp while doomscrolling
fed pets
had breakfast and tea
washed face and brushed teeth and mouthguard
- using toner got in a mystery box last year? we'll see if it lasts more than a month again https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner (skin & co truffle)
- using retinol face moisturizer from naturally vain advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/face-moisturizers/products/rejuvenee-luxe-anti-aging-retinol-face-cream likely to swap back to just moisturizer after it runs out
- moisturized my feet, this worked really well also from the advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/foot-care/products/sole-repair-intensive-foot-cream-to-nourish-soothe-soften-dry-feet naturally vain
finch & pokemon go
cleaned up kitchen a little, oiled cutting board
had lunch (microwave entree from freezer)
checked all emails for urgent emails
fed pets 2-3pm
dug around under sink and found cotton rounds for toner to use instead of cotton balls
took way too long to figure out how to add GST to invoices in quickbooks - billed/invoiced myself for brad's custom cabinets, then paid said invoice
goofed around and watched youtube videos, should not have
Updated Tea Blog

Next up:

Dinner at Pat's
Hopefully BSides Edmonton Notes Board Meeting
Hopefully TDI Invoice Adobe, emails
Resume Review
Shower and wash hair
New night routine, we will see how long this sticks
- medicine
- brush teeth, put in mouthguard
- wash face
- toner (skin & co truffle) https://skinandco.com/en-ca/products/truffle-therapy-face-toner
- vit c serum way of will (discontinued company)
- retinol face moisturizer from advent calendar https://naturallyvain.com/collections/face-moisturizers/products/rejuvenee-luxe-anti-aging-retinol-face-cream
- Hair serum, naturally vain, with argan https://naturallyvain.com/collections/hair-oil/products/silk-shine-hair-oil-powered-by-aloe-vera-argan-oil-for-shine-and-hydration
- lotion body
- frankinscense oil wrists

Update:

dinner at Pat's
then took a bath and shower and read book
night routine, but i think i should do the face cream in the morning and not double up serum and cream?
sigh why can't i just do the things, rolled over
- BSides Edmonton Notes Board Meeting
- TDI Invoice Adobe, emails
- Resume Review

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unemployed day 105, Friday December 19

Sat, 20 Dec 2025 04:13:45 GMT

unemployed day 105, Friday December 19

woke up later than desired
did use daylight lamp while in bed on phone
fed pets
finch & pokemon go
toast and tea
medication
brush mouthguard and teeth
wash face
checked all email for urgent emails
fed pets
added a few ornaments to the tree, rabbit started eating them, started putting his toys into the tree
lunchclub
watched a youtube video suggested by boss, and joined a slack channel / community recommended
Setup KBH account for BSides Edmonton
Made dinner - chicken, rolls, veggies
tried to setup travel for company trip, could not, emailed hopefully can deal with monday
emailed mom about our trip, will need to ask her again tomorrow if needed
posted tea blogs
logged into all gmail accounts b/c at one point they threatened to delete inactive accounts
logged into all twitter account b/c at one point they threatened to delete inactive accounts
emptied both dishwashers, fed cats 10 pm food

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unemployed day 104, Thursday December 18

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 05:06:49 GMT

unemployed day 104, Thursday December 18

Got into bed and had trouble getting to sleep

Woke up 4am

Breakfast, tea, fed pets

Cybersecurity Cares telethon, raised 10k!
https://www.cybersecurity-cares.com/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-Vi-erxDHw

Knocked out finch, pokemon go, flight for trip in Feb/March w/Gary

Made https://github.com/NicoleSchwartz/Food/blob/master/Dinner/Moroccan_Vegetable_Stew.md while not on screen
did not have almonds, tomato paste
added sweet pumpkin from freezer
forgot honey
used water, bullion was a large brick needs to be broken up
served with bread not couscous
served with the chicken shredded on top

in laws brought over almonds toasted

spilled soup all over freezer :( made a mess tried to clean unsure how successful sigh

husband grabbed fire blanket for kitchen

husband did cat litterboxes, i did bun, took out out trash and recycles

I finally did another session of my coursera course for upskilling

next: tea blog, feed cats, sleep

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unemployed day 103, Wednesday December 17

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 06:56:27 GMT

unemployed day 103, Wednesday December 17

My plans to wake up at a reasonable time failed
woke up 2pm
fed pets
husband booked us covid shots
did breakfast, funch, pokemon go, tea
got heath his holiday gift, apologized for missing the last lunchclub, checked all emails
had dinner at in-laws - fish and chips
booked april flights for my mother and me for her birthday
checked on flights for a possible feb trip
checked on ann frank tickets, not yet
put up photos on my office wall for telethon tomorrow
next up sleep b/c up early for telethon

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unemployed day 99, December 13 Saturday

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 07:58:50 GMT

unemployed day 99, December 13 Saturday
- Slept in too much and was useless
- Pokemon Go & Finch
- Showered and washed hair
- Husband nicked his finger on the router, went to ER 5:30pm, I picked him up at 2:30 AM
- dropped off books into little library
- read joyread garbage book while waiting up for husband
- Ordered Comfrt hoodie https://comfrt.com/

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unemployed day 100, December 14 Sunday

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 07:58:11 GMT

unemployed day 100, December 14 Sunday
- Woke up, called mom from bed and yawned a ton at her
- D&D cancelled :(
- Did EI report (unemployment in canada)
- Pokemon Go & Finch
- Dollarama to get more sink strainers for the drink smokers husband is making as holiday gifts
- Shoppers Drug Mart to get more gauze and polysporan for husband
- MIL ordered chinese food for dinner
- started a sous vide pork shoulder
- pretty sure i napped after dinner then woke up fed pets then went back to bed again, not a good day

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unemployed day 101, Monday December 15

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 07:12:49 GMT

unemployed day 101, Monday December 15

- Emailed re-requesting temporary account to book travel at new job
- replaced batteries in 2 airtags
- Prepped pills for the next few weeks and ordered refills
- Pokemon Go & Finch
- Cleaned pet water fountain
- Updated Ashley's Discord roles for TDI
- Skytalks staff meeting & chilling after which was nice
- leftovers + shrimp from MIL
- Husband did trash and litterboxes for trash night

SHOPPING
- Too Good To Go - Nutrimealz - but it was locked so requested refund https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1pniyck/nutrimealz_edmonton/
- Too Good To Go - Maverick Donuts - picked up https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1pnxa41/mavericks_donuts_edmonton_ellerslie_799/
- H&W for bun veg
- tea cup 2 go boba tea
- bulk barn working on doug's holiday gift (faux meal kit)
- real canadian superstore

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unemployed day 102, Tuesday December 16

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 07:07:41 GMT

unemployed day 102, Tuesday December 16

- Struggled to get up at desired time, used daylight lamp while in bed
- Prepped for cleaner (left holiday tip)
- Breakfast (tea and donut)
- Checked Sous Vide
- Pokemon Go & Finch
- Cleaner arrived
- Brad served dinner - the sous vide pork shoulder (~36 hours <48) too much steak seasoning and too strong, but very tender and veg
- Came home, ate dinner, watched TV with husband

SHOPPING
- Went to Rexall to pickup medication and bandages for husband
- OMG Nails - got dip which i thought was the powder but instead they put on powder that turned to clay and built up nails on my nails? they are now so thick
- Lucky supermarket to finish off doug's holiday gift (pseudo meal kit, spices and recipie) and part of MILs gift
- Costco to fill up, more cold and snow expected
- Stopped by tailor, need to pickup 23rd
- DHC Salon for getting hair cut and colored

TO DO
- Now going to try and do some Canva work for TDI before going to bed

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unemployed day 69, November 13 Thursday

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 04:42:36 GMT

unemployed day 69, November 13 Thursday

woke up

quick discussion with possible future boss

quick chat with mom

hummas and pita and tea for breakfast

brushed teeth and mouthguard

emptied dishwasher and cleaned some dishes, need to clean more

pokemon go

brought up laundry

vaccumed

let kids outside, they came in promptly

started process to transfer domain to thain

booped morgan

dinner - tortellini for brad who caught something at his conference, and curry for me
did not like it

checked all emails to handle emergencies

cleaned bun litter

chat with volunteer

removed frustration in pokemon go

did my bird app

TODO before sleep:
onboard today and yesterday's people, feed pets

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unemployed day 68, November 12 Wednesday

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 04:44:19 GMT

unemployed day 68, November 12 Wednesday

Woke up, not as early as desired

updated that Gail passed, and in laws not returning today

Call with TDI volunteer

Breakfast

Quickbooks TDI & BSides Edmonton

Pokemon Go

Call with TDI volunteer

Clean Bread machine, it's been dirty days, sigh

feed pets

Call with TDI volunteer

make rice, submitted an application that likely will go anywhere b/c US based

scheduled a followup with Telus per their request - hopeful and also concerned

call with zoom for TDI

heat and finish curry for dinner - https://github.com/NicoleSchwartz/Food/blob/master/Dinner/Prawn-Moilee.md

clean cat litterboxes

have dinner

checked all emails for urgent emails

Entered Chewy Clause for charity https://finance.yahoo.com/news/chewy-claus-back-spread-cheer-140000743.html

played some ACNH HHP

Calculated all needed PTO for 2026, and that may once again be a tough negotiation point

next:

do budget as i know this role tops out way less than i was making but as per conversations with others it seems I will not be able to make anything near what i was. clean rabbit litter, do some tdi emails, put off tdi onboarding until tomorrow.

try and get to sleep at reasonable hour.

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unemployed day 67, November 11 Tuesday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 06:43:38 GMT

unemployed day 67, November 11 Tuesday

Managed to get up earlier than usual since brad was home

TDI volunteer meeting, they did NOT show up, argh, and didn't email to say why, wtf

got a kickstarter, some books, 51$ in customs fee from UPS, ugh, ouch

folded laundry

checked all emails for urgent emails

did one application

booked return home flight after US thanksgiving

went to dinner at Pat and Doug's

cleaned pet water fountain

in laws return tomorrow, gail isn't dead yet and grandmother hasn't agreed to go to a monitored facility, so weird

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unemployed day 66, November 10 Monday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 05:25:08 GMT

unemployed day 66, November 10 Monday

Slept

Unproductive

H&W bun veg trip

Picked up brad from airport

Had tortellini for dinner

trash night

Did laundry

Contacted Hamdy to arrange some travel

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unemployed day 65, November 9 Sunday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 05:22:23 GMT

unemployed day 65, November 9 Sunday

Called mom

D&D canceled sadly

did laundry

cooked beets and badly maybe peeled them

made 2 curray but then didn't eat them

did litterboxes, or at least 2 may have forgotten 3rd, did bun box though

did some ACNH

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unemployed day 64, November 8 Saturday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 05:20:34 GMT

unemployed day 64, November 8 Saturday

TDI volt meeting (showed but some google meet issues)

shower and wash hair

accomplished nothing else, unproductive

was enjoying being home alone i think

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unemployed day 62, November 6 Thursday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 05:08:01 GMT

unemployed day 62, November 6 Thursday

Slept in and missed "OpenAI vs. xAI -- FREE Interview WORKSHOP " not motivating enough to get out of bed i guess

unproductive

changed out laundryroom litterbox completely

reapplied for a job where i know a c-level, was still rejected

comments

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:59:02 GMT

Summary

For the past, over a week, I have been unproductive
not worked on citizenship
not worked on google course
hasn't done any of the personal or house or non profit tasks

mom suggested, i did purchase and have started twice a day (it ought to be 3) st. john's wort

my sleep has been a disaster, up all night sleep all day

I have been doing Finch, I missed one day i think? but have at least been doing that

I have dabbled and tried Mistplay and FreeCash - mistplay is preferable

have been mostly doing pokemon, ish

i did pickup ACNH again and finally start on the happy home paradise DLC which I got ages ago, the villagers say 3 years 8 months

I have not been applying as much as I ought but i really need to redo my resume, my professional rewrite is coming soon which at least will help i hope

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unemployed day 61, November 5 Wednesday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:46:25 GMT

unemployed day 61, November 5 Wednesday

Took Brad to airport early in the morning

Dale and Ulla headed to Vancouver to see (say goodbye to) Gail (she is unconscious in the hospital, dying)

I am still shocked they didn't rush tout to say goodbye to Britt, her sister, who died a week or two back.

They will stay with and help care for Mackey

Picked up medication at Rexall and updated new insurance, luckily mom is paying for that

Missed "Hacking LLM Applications" did watch the rewatch later, need to rewatch again

Unsure if the volunteer meeting was a no show, i feel like it was, i had a lot of no shows. i didn't track them as well as i ought to have.

Too Good To Go - 2 successes

Tim Hortons

https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1opolw2/tim_hortons_millwoods_town_center_food_court_499/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Spice Bros Millwoods

https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1opoik3/spicebros_millwoods_599/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Made bread with MIL borrowed bread machine, figured out the recipe i like and i need to remove right when it finishes, i prefer store bread but can deal with this.

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unemployed day 63, November 7 Friday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:45:04 GMT

unemployed day 63, November 7 Friday

TDI Volunteer meeting, unsure if it was one of the no shows, or shows

Fresh Co a little shopping for some curry recipes

Too Good To Go

Macao Imperial tea
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1ornlrl/macao_imperial_tea_meadows_799/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Bulk barn stock up

Flash Food - RSCC (real canadian super store)
meh, thought i got cheese and it was cheese tortellini, the descriptions and images are not great
and got pitas, didn't read, they were gluten free, my fault but meh

Lunchclub meeting

TDI
- sent meghan cfp info
-onboarded law, onboarded ctf
-emailed emily

failed to make the curry i wanted to make

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unemployed day 60, November 4 Tuesday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:39:23 GMT

unemployed day 60, November 4 Tuesday

Slept all day

unproductive

Did Quickbooks for TDI & BSides Edmonton

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unemployed day 59, November 3 Monday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:37:41 GMT

unemployed day 59, November 3 Monday

Poor Sleep, and whacked up sleep schedule, can't go fall asleep until dawn...then sleep until i am forced to get out of bed, or dinner

Deposited a USD check which will take 15+ days to clear

Tried Flash Foods, meh? Need to try Food hero

No Frills
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1onr2zv/no_frills_alberta_2919/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Also ended up doing a bit of shopping there as well

Also did a bunny veg shop at H&W

Picked up three too good to go orders, 1 success and 2 failures

Success
Tim Horton's - Too Good To Go
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1onqy6p/tim_hortons_499/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Provided desserts at Dinner

Failure
7-Eleven - Too Good To Go
A can of champaign, I did get a refund
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooGoodToGoCanada/comments/1onr0e4/711_alberta_499/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Failure
Tropical House Food Market Ltd. - Too Good To Go
I drove out there and they did not (the employee) seem to have any idea what I was talking about, and made me cancel it, I did get refunded. They had a too good to go sticker on the window. Confusing

Made rice and we had chilli and rice, only one dinner from the pot as watery unlike my usual - but this was made with TVP and dried beans instead of cans and meat. No one noticed.

But TVP is about the same price as ground meat currently? not a cost savings?

litterboxes

trash night

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unemployed day 58, November 2 Sunday

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:37:13 GMT

unemployed day 58, November 2 Sunday

Slept all day
unproductive
EI report completed
Showered and washed hair
cleaned water fountain

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