[NYE Week 5] Exploring Pleasure

 

Here are this week’s explorations:

Find the item in your home you’ve been saving for a “special occasion,” be it food/drink, clothes, whatever. Decide when this week is your special occasion, and let yourself really, really enjoy that pleasure. Notice what fears/thoughts come up for you around it. Notice how your body feels while you indulge in your “special occasion.” If you’d like you can journal or make art about this experience

- i have dresses for such but in general i avoid having special occasion items as you can just die at any time. and i do wear the dresses, and wreck them, annually
 

Put on music that taps into your pleasure and let your body tell you how it wants to move. To get started, it might be easiest to lay down and just breathe while the music washes over you, tuning into your body. It might also be helpful to let your hands roam your body, seeing what kinds of touch feel good. Remember that there are no right or wrong ways to move as long as you’re listening to your body. Even if you think you might look ridiculous, that’s fine! No one cares. Your body wants to move like that for a reason

- no

 

While eating or drinking something, try to slow down and really notice every aspect of it. How does it smell? How does it feel? What’s the sound you hear as you consume it? What does it taste like? How does it look? Tap into all five senses and slow way down.

- i took the week to try new recipes, i found them mostly bland or not exciting but it was nice to change things up

 

Get out your 2 chairs again for a conversation with parts of yourself. In one chair, embody your inner hedonist, in the other act out the part of you that is “responsible” or “practical.” What do these parts have to tell each other? What lessons do they each have for the other? What fears do they have? How can we help them find understanding for each other and space for both?

- no sure i have a pleasure seeking side? i have a side that wants to spend all the money and get all the toys but i need to keep that one in check

 

Is there something you enjoy doing that isn’t useful or that you aren’t good at or that isn’t necessarily helping you achieve any goals or finish any to-do list items? What if you did it this week just because you enjoy it? 

- no time this week has been busy - i did it during the play week and a few weeks back where i assembled a lego, that was nice

 

What textures do you most enjoy feeling? Spend some time this week diving into those textures and noticing every bit of pleasure coming from your nerve endings. Let yourself be wrapped up in all the sensation and enjoyment, milk it for every moment, and touch, that you can

- super soft stuff, sadly i worse my super soft jammies and they fluffed all over the house like grey snow :(

 

Draw/paint/craft something that represents your pleasure. Maybe it’s how you imagine your pleasure would look if it were a creature/entity, maybe it’s about your relationship to your pleasure, maybe it’s just a collection/collage of things that bring you pleasure. Hang it up somewhere you’ll see it every day

- no

 

If you have a lover you’re seeing these days, ask them if they’d like to trade pleasure focused dates where, for each date, one of you is the pleasure master. The pleasure master for each date gets to do or make requests of their partner that are solely about the pleasure master’s pleasure (with consent, of course!). This could mean going down on your partner if you love the feel of their genitals in your face, or tapping into your inner pillow princess and telling them exactly how to fuck you. See how selfish you can let yourself be and get rid of any expectation of reciprocation for that date (after all, you’ll each get your own date as pleasure master). This could also include food, beverages, activities, media, anything that will amplify the pleasure master’s pleasure.

- perhaps next week, i don't like to be bossy though

[NYE Week 6] Exploring our earnest, uncool selves

Here are this week’s explorations:

Watch some media that centers on earnest characters. Christmas movies and cheesy love movies are often good examples, as is Steven Universe, My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, Jane the Virgin, and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Find a character you admire for their uncoolness and see if you can channel them this week.

- i have not seen most of those and don't at this time have time for that, however i think i'll ask hubs to get MLPFIM so i can rewatch the early seasons and catch the later ones

 

What are the things you like that you get nervous to talk about publicly? Why? What would it be like to just own it, out there, in front of everyone?

- everything, humans make me nervous, not sure why, i black out when i give talks, even when passionate about soemthing and i'm proud to be known for it

 

Read Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown which is all about the difference between fitting in and true belonging and how to start choosing true belonging in our lives.

- adding to todo list

 

Sit down with your journal and write about any times you remember being told that you shouldn’t like what you like, or where you felt pressured to let go of your earnest enjoyment. What was that like for you? What do you wish you’d had someone tell you about that?

- i can't recall any? well, occasionally people about tech or porn or whatever but i never much minded other people's opinions
 

Put together a playlist of your favorite uncool songs, the playlist that you worry someone would make fun of you for if you put it on in the car. Then, blast it as loud as you enjoy and dance around to it! Dance silly, dance playfully, dance all that genuine enjoyment all the way through your body.

- zero dancing but i unabashedly listen to taylor swift and country?

 

When you have some privacy and time, sit down with your journal and think back to a time where you were made fun of for what you like. Notice what that feels like in your body. Now think about something you get joy from, tap into your earnest core. Notice what that feels like in your body. Where in your body do you experience the shame and fear and cynicism? Where do you notice your sweetness and joy?

- to do i guess
 

Draw/paint/craft two images, one of the person you’re trying to be when you try to fit in and be cool, and one of who you are deep in your squishy, earnest, joyful, childlike core. Do you use different colors? Shapes? Do you have more or less precision in one or the other? When one is easier for you to visualize?

- i dont' draw i can't even stickfigure

 

Write a letter to someone who made you feel bad for liking something. What would you say to them? 

- can not recall any specific humans

 

As we’ve done before, set yourself 2 chairs. In one chair, I want you to be your deep, sweet, genuine, earnest self, in the other I want you to be the person you think you need to be to fit in. Try having a conversation between these two parts. What are the goals for each of them? What are their fears? What healing do they want from each other? How can we honor both of these aspects and then decide how to balance them moving forward?

- i have given up on that long ago

What do you not let yourself do because you’re worried you’re bad at it? This week, try doing it anyway! Can you do it for the enjoyment of it? Can you do it without having to be good at it? 

- art, dancing, everything? and ugh i guess maybe later? i don't waste time doing things i am bad at because it's frustrating. in other cases where i want to improve and think i can, i try and do sometimes readch acceptable (see cooking)