[NYE Week 6] Exploring our earnest, uncool selves

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Here are this week’s explorations:

Watch some media that centers on earnest characters. Christmas movies and cheesy love movies are often good examples, as is Steven Universe, My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, Jane the Virgin, and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Find a character you admire for their uncoolness and see if you can channel them this week.

- i have not seen most of those and don't at this time have time for that, however i think i'll ask hubs to get MLPFIM so i can rewatch the early seasons and catch the later ones

 

What are the things you like that you get nervous to talk about publicly? Why? What would it be like to just own it, out there, in front of everyone?

- everything, humans make me nervous, not sure why, i black out when i give talks, even when passionate about soemthing and i'm proud to be known for it

 

Read Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown which is all about the difference between fitting in and true belonging and how to start choosing true belonging in our lives.

- adding to todo list

 

Sit down with your journal and write about any times you remember being told that you shouldn’t like what you like, or where you felt pressured to let go of your earnest enjoyment. What was that like for you? What do you wish you’d had someone tell you about that?

- i can't recall any? well, occasionally people about tech or porn or whatever but i never much minded other people's opinions
 

Put together a playlist of your favorite uncool songs, the playlist that you worry someone would make fun of you for if you put it on in the car. Then, blast it as loud as you enjoy and dance around to it! Dance silly, dance playfully, dance all that genuine enjoyment all the way through your body.

- zero dancing but i unabashedly listen to taylor swift and country?

 

When you have some privacy and time, sit down with your journal and think back to a time where you were made fun of for what you like. Notice what that feels like in your body. Now think about something you get joy from, tap into your earnest core. Notice what that feels like in your body. Where in your body do you experience the shame and fear and cynicism? Where do you notice your sweetness and joy?

- to do i guess
 

Draw/paint/craft two images, one of the person you’re trying to be when you try to fit in and be cool, and one of who you are deep in your squishy, earnest, joyful, childlike core. Do you use different colors? Shapes? Do you have more or less precision in one or the other? When one is easier for you to visualize?

- i dont' draw i can't even stickfigure

 

Write a letter to someone who made you feel bad for liking something. What would you say to them? 

- can not recall any specific humans

 

As we’ve done before, set yourself 2 chairs. In one chair, I want you to be your deep, sweet, genuine, earnest self, in the other I want you to be the person you think you need to be to fit in. Try having a conversation between these two parts. What are the goals for each of them? What are their fears? What healing do they want from each other? How can we honor both of these aspects and then decide how to balance them moving forward?

- i have given up on that long ago

What do you not let yourself do because you’re worried you’re bad at it? This week, try doing it anyway! Can you do it for the enjoyment of it? Can you do it without having to be good at it? 

- art, dancing, everything? and ugh i guess maybe later? i don't waste time doing things i am bad at because it's frustrating. in other cases where i want to improve and think i can, i try and do sometimes readch acceptable (see cooking)