desire

 Sit down and write out all the things you want. They don’t have to be realistic or doable or even things you’d choose to follow, we just want to get them out of the back of your brain.

- I think i want the house to be fixed up and the shed with tools, and a place in the states and more time in the states, convince husband to move to the states, travel to see friends, travel to see family's, travel to see world, secure retirement, less broken body, i want to retire and spend time traveling and seeing people and helping where i can and doing random research and reading.
 

Imagine what your desire/wanting looks like and write a description or draw it. I imagine my desire as a storm spirit that uses a cloudy substance to shapeshift into different wild animals and humanoid forms. What does yours look like?

- ???

 

What is the story you have about wanting? Where did you learn it? Journal about this and let yourself dive into the memories and feelings of wanting and having wants be denied.

- i don't know

 

What do you notice in your body when you want? Are there different sensations depending on the kind of want? 

- my head and chest?

 

What are the desires you are most afraid to honor and acknowledge? Why?

 
- i don't know
 

Put together a playlist of songs that evoke desire in you. This can be sexual desire, material desire, intimate/emotional desire, any kind of desire you can come up with.

- nope

 

What does desire look like as a dance? How would you move your body to embody want?

 
- nope
 

Make a collage dedicated to your wants/desires. Maybe this is a vision board, maybe it’s dreams, whatever feels right for you.

 
- nope

Draw/paint/craft something that represents your wants and desires.

- nope
 

Sit down with a friend and alternate sharing desires with each other. As you share, try to feel that desire deeply. As you listen, try to find a space of excitement and support for the desire. Notice what it’s like to just say it and not judge or be judged.

 
- nope
 

 

Can you think of a character from a book/show/movie/play that lets themselves dive into their desires (and isn’t punished for it)? If so, dive into that story and put yourself in that character’s shoes.

- nope

Pick one of your desires that you don’t know you COULD achieve/receive and write a story where you DO achieve/receive it. Try to include as many details as possible and pay attention to what happens in your body as you write it.

- to try another time?

Exploring Play

Try journaling about play! Before you play, write down how you’re feeling, how your body is feeling, what your stress level is at. Check back in about these same factors after play

- didn't seem to change much and from siting (coloring) my legs hurt

What are some big ways to play? Have you tried dressing up, dancing, tag, hide and seek, racing, making funny faces, making funny sounds, free-form arts/crafts?

- i went ahead and did some coloring books, that was a nice break

What are some small ways to play? How can you incorporate play into the tasks of your normal life? Maybe it’s putting on music to wash the dishes, trying a new way to fold clothes, replacing the word “now” with “meow,” taking a quick break during work to shake your body and blow raspberries, finding a funny GIF for each conversation you’re having.

-i do tend to listen to books with chores but stopped when it was too hard to follow along with my brain being so overloaded

 

Take selfies of the funniest faces you can make

-did that and it ended up hubbies image for me now, great

Challenge a friend to a silly selfie contest to see who can take the silliest selfie

-not anyone i would do this with?
----

Who do you know in your life who you describe as playful? Pretend you’re them and do what you imagine they would do

- i can't ... maybe Avi? but i don't have that kind of energy

Put on the wackiest outfit you can imagine, put on a ridiculous makeup look, and do a photoshoot

- no

Is there something you’ve been denying yourself or waiting to “earn” that might increase your ability to tap into play? Do you still need to wait?

- i try to hold off on things but then end up doing them and feeling guilty

Is there a toy or game you enjoy? Spend some quality time with it! There’s no age limit on toys 

- I do spend time on my switch, and D&D with friends online, but i can't play most of my board games as my husband doesn't want to and who else can i during a pandemic

If you have someone you trust, experiment with ways of touching each other that feel playful. What feels playful to you? To them?

- no

Were you told you’re too old to play? If so, take some time to journal about that experience and what you felt. Then, imagine what you would tell past you about play 

- no

Think back to when you were young - what play did you most enjoy? Can you try that now?

- watching TV, action figures, console games - 2 of the 3 i do (although not many shows i am excited about anymore)

If you have children in your life, watch them playing. What can you learn from how they play? How do they interact with each other and with the objects and space around them?

- not applicable

What songs feel like play for you? Make a playlist (heheheh, pun intended) and notice how they affect you

- not applicable