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somehow i lost my hammer
purchasing a house may be my worst choice ever
it's technically twice as big but i can not maximize space usage as mom would flip and so far i filled the closet and haven't even emptied the one at the apartment, ditto bookshelves.
i suck at life, i am not handy so i have to pay people
i also lack time and i have to pay people
oh yeah and i suck so much i have to quit my 4th job, not that job #3 i have been doig much for lately and job #2 i have to work harder at
my mom can sew, cook, bake, tile, etc etc. i can't. i have no idea how i am going to make ends meet. I was happy that rent at the hosue would be less than the apartment but houses are expensive.
yesterday was replace all the dead lightbulbs day
i also replaced all but one HVAC filter
today was tighten all screws and apply wd40 to lots of things
i also noticed knicks in the floor i'll have to deal with or pay someone to deal with later
can we fast forward years until i am dead
life is work, hard work, and it sucks, i can't remember ever being happy for more than a few fleeting moments and i can't see ever being happy, so i'd rather not exist.
yes i have it much better than most, i have a job, i have a place to live, i have a pet.
that doens't mean i like my life.
i feel stupid and worthless always. i will never accomplish anything or be of use to anyone.
next up: at some point need to make house list of stuff left to do, and get my ass in gear to finish moving by end of july. where does the time go.
purchasing a house may be my worst choice ever
it's technically twice as big but i can not maximize space usage as mom would flip and so far i filled the closet and haven't even emptied the one at the apartment, ditto bookshelves.
i suck at life, i am not handy so i have to pay people
i also lack time and i have to pay people
oh yeah and i suck so much i have to quit my 4th job, not that job #3 i have been doig much for lately and job #2 i have to work harder at
my mom can sew, cook, bake, tile, etc etc. i can't. i have no idea how i am going to make ends meet. I was happy that rent at the hosue would be less than the apartment but houses are expensive.
yesterday was replace all the dead lightbulbs day
i also replaced all but one HVAC filter
today was tighten all screws and apply wd40 to lots of things
i also noticed knicks in the floor i'll have to deal with or pay someone to deal with later
can we fast forward years until i am dead
life is work, hard work, and it sucks, i can't remember ever being happy for more than a few fleeting moments and i can't see ever being happy, so i'd rather not exist.
yes i have it much better than most, i have a job, i have a place to live, i have a pet.
that doens't mean i like my life.
i feel stupid and worthless always. i will never accomplish anything or be of use to anyone.
next up: at some point need to make house list of stuff left to do, and get my ass in gear to finish moving by end of july. where does the time go.