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Day 1

Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

Going through the calendar I see the following major events:
Optic Neuritis
Jamom's heart attack

I couldn't see, and had to rely on others to get to a hospital where i waited nearly a whole day for anything, and got no answers. that was frustrating and scary. That's a fear that's been drilled into me, going blind. Then they declared it might be a deadly debilitating disease, but weren't sure and wouldn't know until it got worse. The fear has faded as I haven't has issues since then and a follow up exam went well, but i had a spike of fear this week when my vision dimmed again.

After years of doctors not wanting to sterilize me, one finally said it was my body and i could. I had solid reasons, i should not have needed them. I will go blind immediately if pregnant due to no longer being able to take my medication. This is what ended my wedding before it happened. I also never have strongly wanted children. They always were convinced i'd change my mind or something else would come along and fix my eyes. i have had so many eye surgeries i can't have another. So now, i had a tubal ligation and an oblation. My periods are no longer very long and horrifically painful, yes i get cramps but it is no where near as bad as it was. And i have no more risk of getting pregnant on accident. It's a lovely feeling to finally be over and the surgery itself wasn't nearly as bad as they warned me. And i no longer need to take hormones!

you know you will lose your grandparents but its scary when there are close brushes. i went to be with pop pop, and see jamom. i hate hospitals. i have gotten better about going to them as it's nice to have people there even if you hate it.

I am grateful my job lets me deal with things like this.
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amazonv: (Default)

March 2017


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